Why is it that people always ask me: Have you met anyone? Are you dating anyone? Are you still single? Blah Blah Blah. I don’t get it, it’s not like I’m in my mid-thirties and living alone. Why is it that society has this expectation that once you graduate from college you should meet (or should have already met) the love of your life and be planning a wedding? Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but it is partially true!
I think most of you reading this know me well enough to know that I am very weird about meeting guys, I’m not really sure why. I didn’t used to be like this, or maybe I was and didn’t know it because I always had a boyfriend when I was a teenager. Who knows? The point is that I am very shy when it comes to meeting guys and I personally don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. Not now anyways. I think when I’m ready to meet someone who might actually be a significant person in my life, I’ll open up a little bit more. Right now, I’m perfectly content with being weird and picky and making up multiple excuses on why I don’t like this guy or shouldn’t go talk to that guy. I think, or rather, I know that I use these excuses as defense mechanisms because I am not really ready to meet anyone. After all, I am only 22. That is young, that is really young! And my biggest fear is that I’ll meet someone before I’m ready to. I know that sounds nuts because everyone wants to meet someone and be loved and I am not an exception, I’m just not ready for that YET. I know it seems a bit control freakish, but I have this invisible calendar or schedule that I’m trying to stay on track with and I know that you can’t PLAN life, but you can try, right? I don’t know, I can’t help it; I guess it’s just the planner in me. I want to establish my career and see things/do things/experience things on my own before I see things/do things/experience things with someone else. Does this make sense to anyone, but me?
I don’t think that there is a right or wrong way to do things; I think everyone has their own way, and this is mine. I’m not saying that I don’t get lonely sometimes, because I’ll be the first to admit that I do. But for the most part, I enjoy being single. I enjoy not having to rush home for anything or anyone. I enjoy not having to act perfect or try to impress someone. I enjoy not having to look in the mirror and ask myself, does this look ok, is he going to think I look fat. I enjoy being by myself, I feel like I know myself more now than ever before and I think I owe some of that to the fact that I have done things alone for a while. I don’t think it’s a coincidence at all that the best years of my life have been the last 3, all of which I have been single and have not focused on anyone but myself. Call me selfish, but it’s true. Going to Spain for a semester and moving to New York are 2 of the biggest, scariest and most amazing and exciting decisions that I have ever made that I most likely wouldn’t have made if there were a guy in my life. Here I am living this life that I never thought I ever would and I’m not saying that a guy wouldn’t make it even better, because I’m sure he will…one day, but that day is not today. I’m more than content with my life just the way it is! So the next time someone asks me if I have met anyone yet or if I’m dating or in a relationship, I’m going to say…read my blog!!! ;)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
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3 comments:
Lisa, the only reason I ask is because I want to live single life vicariously through you since Blake won't let me do it myself :)
But keep this in mind, NYC is expensive so free dinner every now and again could be really nice for your budget! BUT, be super safe too. I can't be having anything happening to my Lisa while she's away.
I think a lot of it is that when people go away, you expect so much to change and most of the time it does. Being single or dating someone is one of those things that could change, but since we can’t “see” you, we have to ask. I know there is a lot of pressure for each person to find someone, but you’re right…you have so much time. No need to rush. When you’re ready to put yourself out there, you will. The fact that you haven’t just tells me that you’re not ready and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Miss you!
You should be proud of the many things you've accomplished in your life, including knowing that you are an independent woman who can make it on her own! Just remember that life doesn't follow YOUR plan so open yourself up and dare to fall in love!
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